A Late night sermon

a story. about good stuff. I once did something wrong. actually I didn't. But I was very much led to believe that I did. I rather decided that whatever it was that I did or didn't do I certainly don't want to know exactly what it was. Because that would hurt. I don't know why this should be the case, but there's not a soul in the world that could convince me otherwise. Except of course Jesus. That is what I imagine Jesus is for actually. I wish. I wish a lot actually. It's quite a bit easier than living. Wishing doesn't hurt too bad, but it doesn't make me very happy either. In fact it makes me quite unhappy. I think thats what wishing is for actually, to make you unhappy. Because when your unhappy you change. And when you change, well, you live. and living is what life is all about. When you live you are. Why is it then that life is so often unpleasant? Is it only because we have confused living with wishing? I believe I have done this. But I only wish because I find living itself so very difficult. This difficulty is a strange thing. I envy the people who do not experience this difficulty. They do exist. I have seen them. They are the ones that are happy. But they have difficulties. They're difficulties are unfathomable to me though. Their difficulties come from outside themselves. For these people living is the most natural thing in the world. They cannot fathom doing anything else. I'm trying to get somewhere here, but I'm getting distracted. distraction is the ... I have got it. Jesus is supposed to remove the difficulty. "My yoke is light" Jesus said that. The difficulty is a fear. A fear of losing control. An addiction to control. Because living and controlling are incompatible. You cannot do both. That would be like wishing and living. This is the dichotomy of good and evil. The two trees in Eden were the tree of 'knowledge' of good and evil and the tree of 'life'. The tree of 'knowledge' of good and evil introduced to mankind the ability to control. The devil was right about becoming like God, because God is in control. Except that God is infinite and we are not. So when we control we lose precious life, because we choose 'knowledge' over 'life'. When we control we sin. They are the same thing. Control and sin. Sin is separation from God. God is Love. Love is Life. In order to control something you have to step outside of it. To control our lives we have to step outside of our lives, outside of the present moment and think about the future or the past, how to learn from one so as to determine the other. To control our lives we have to stop living. We can't live and control at the same time, it is one or the other. Control is like acting outside of faith. Faith is awareness of the ultimate reality of God. Presence. Presence Presence. Oh you Christians. You sinners. You murder the God want to worship by calling yourself a Christian, by acting like a Christian, by 'living' like a Christian. Just live live live. God is love, God is life.