Monday, October 15, 2012

There's this guy named Chuck Lorre.You may have heard of him as some big Hollywood hotshot writer producer.  I first heard of him when he had his big tiff with  Charlie Sheen. Apparently he worked on Rosanne Grace under fire and Dharma and Greg and Two and a half Men and Big Bang Theory. and some other shit that never caught my radar.  Anyway, none of his shows are really all that that good.  I enjoyed Big bang theory because of the Sheldon character and the techy jokes, but other than that the material is pretty dry and feels massed produced (Can't blame the guys how the hell can one write a masterpiece a week with the writing talent in this country.

Any my recent sister-in-law turned me on to Big Bang theory and I''ve been wasting way too much time on  it. and I recently realized that for a split second there is displayed what I have now learned to be a Chuck Lorre Vanity card.  Where he displays some written anecdote or word of wisdom, often poetical in nature,.  Some of them are are quite good.  The one I read today read's hence:

:‎"They weren't not in love. It's just that the subject, as such, never really came up. It kind of loomed over them like a blissfully stupid cloud. The love cloud.

Guaranteed to rain on your brain, 'til you're moanin' with seratonin.

Maybe what was happening was that they were in love with the idea of being in love. But that's still love, right? Instead of loving each other, they loved an idea. An aspiration. A wish. The other person was more or less of an afterthought. Somewhat expendable, or at the very least, interchangeable.

I love that you make me feel like I'm in love. You, on the other hand, I can take or leave.
Of course, it was just a matter of time before the truth of each other, the hard fact of their unique selfness, their one-of-a-kind snow-flakiness, became unavoidable.

I may be a broken toy, but you are a Chinese crib factory that uses lead paint.
Saying goodbye in these circumstances is always very awkward.

"I just had your car towed." 

"That's okay, those Flip videos I 
said I erased are now on the internet

Others are just rubbish.  Some so bad he apparently can't even bear to allow them to be published and instead default to this one:


This is the official "I have nothing worth writing about" vanity card. It will run whenever I have nothing worth writing about. Don't be surprised to see it quite a bit. From now on, when our schedule requires me to deliver a new card and I'm empty, I'll simply say, "Run one eleven." A check of the one hundred and ten cards I've already written will quickly demonstrate that I should have written this card a long time ago. Why didn't I? Vanity. I had become vain about my vanity cards. I was determined to write a new one each week because, well... I'm just that kind of guy. But I'm older and wiser now. I know when I have nothing to say. And that knowledge is freedom. Freedom from the constant need to win your approval. And more importantly, freedom from the obsessive and relentless need to end each vanity card on a joke. The Electoral College.*

Anyway this guy has inspired me.  If I can write anything that will be read by one half of the people that think Charlie Sheen is Awesome, I will consider myself a success.

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