Saturday, October 17, 2009

a despondant attitude at Zipeto

Today was a lazy day for me. Last night I returned from Machava to find that the Americans from Kentucky left me some of the food they packed over here from America. My section of the pantry was stacked with half eaten to-go cups of Jiffy Peanut butter, open packages of Saltine Crackers, and various assortments of American junk food. God Bless America. I skipped breakfast and lunch at the canteen today and just snacked. I started two books, Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures by Vincent Lam and My Life as a Traitor by Zarah Ghahramani. I also discovered that I lost two books, the Portuguese in 3 Months book I stole from Africa 180 and the emergent Christianity book I found here at the visitors library in Zimpeto. I also lost the phone charger I use to charge my speaker. I'm a bit unnerved at my recent propensity for losing shit. That makes 5 important books I've lost and 6 important gadgets. I guess it doesn't really matter since its all just different ways of wasting my time. Other than reading and eating I did nothing today except pick up the guitar for a few minutes and watch the 4th episode of Flight of the Conchords Season 1. And write this. I tried organizing my room and "getting settled" a couple times, but finally I decided that I don't really care and I'll just throw all my shit in a corner if I end up getting a another room mate. I swear I'm going to start doing shit though, like exercising, writing, studying, and practicing. If I could just get myself to do an hour of each everyday. I wouldn't care what I did for the rest of the day. I just gotta get in shape, learn Portuguese, catch up on my blog and figure out how to play this godamn guitar. I guess it probably sounds bad that I'm not least bit interested in whatever's going on here at the orphanage. The staff help me out a lot in that area though by not giving a shit what I do with my time here. I never back away a request for help or anything, but I don't go looking for a chore I don't want to do either. Yea I have a shit attitude, but its only on this blog. Everybody here thinks I'm wonderful, if a bit reclusive. They all feel guilty because they don't have time and shit. I let them feel guilty, because guilt is an excellent manipulation tool. I really hope I don't get a room mate, this place is a shit hole.

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